


Senior Year For The SQUIP Squad

by mthevlamister



Series: SQUIP Squad™ [8]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: F/F, I have fun writing this, I should stop, M/M, Multi, NO ONE KNOWS, Naaahhh, Other, when will i stop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-29
Updated: 2017-11-26
Packaged: 2019-01-25 22:03:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 17,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12542184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mthevlamister/pseuds/mthevlamister
Summary: "Evan Hansen-Heere was still the founder of 'The Connor Project' and that was impressive to everyone.Well, almost everyone."Or:Evan needs to do more than survive.





	1. Visiting Evan, Protecting Evan, Someone Gets Punched, Outings Are Ruined

Honestly Jeremy loved visiting his brother and his brother-in-laws. Jared and Connor were always excited to see him and his friends, the whole gang would come on these group outings, minus Dustin and Madeline. Those two always stayed back, not knowing the three college kids well enough to actually speak to them without freaking out because Evan Hansen-Heere was still the founder of 'The Connor Project' and that was impressive to everyone.

Well, almost everyone.

See, the SQUIP Squad was unaware anyone could possibly hate Evan Hansen-Heere as they visited him for the millionth time. Evan often got nervous around large groups, even if they were Jeremy's friends. They were all talking, Connor was overjoyed to see Michael. 

"Hey Mike, my buddy, what's up?" Connor asked as he jumped over their apartment's couch to see Michael. "Dude, I missed you."

"I missed you too, Co-Co." Michael said softly, hugging Connor. "Oh my god I can't wait for college, college is going to be great and I'm going to be cool."

"Too cool for me?" Connor asked, refusing to let go of Michael despite the heavy glares he was receiving from both Rich and Jake. "Too cool to stop by here and chill with me and some food?"

"I'm not Jeremy."

"Hey!" Jeremy whined.

"Psshh, true. What'd he do again? Tune you out from his life, literally?" Connor asked, smirking.

"Yep!" Michael smiled.

"Guys." Jeremy whined again. He stopped pouting when Evan rested a hand on his shoulder, which was comforting for him. He liked Evan, Evan was his brother, brothers were good, Evan was good. "Okay, fine."

"How's the book coming?" Michael asked Connor.

"It's going, I'm struggling because I'm stuck in this damn apartment all the time."

"Isn't that against the rules?" Michael asked. "Aren't Evan and Jared supposed to live in a dorm?"

"Ehhhhh." Connor shrugged.

"So, how's environmental sciences?" Jeremy asked Evan in a hushed voice, because if he spoke any louder the others would join the conversation, which would make Evan either stutter or stop talking. "Anything fun?"

"We just started botany." Evan whispered back.

"That sounds like fun, have any new plants?"

"Promise you won't laugh?"

"I promise."

"I named one Jeremy Junior."

Jeremy stared at Evan for two seconds before covering his mouth. Evan snorted, pointing at Jeremy before letting out a bigger laugh. "Evan!" Jeremy screeched. "You told me not to laugh!"

Evan turned bright red, everyone's gaze on him. "Yuh-yuh-you looked so happy, of c-course I-I la-affed." 

"Neeeerrrrrd!" Jeremy said, ruffling Evan's hair. "You're the best! I'm going to get a pet bird and name him Evan Junior."

"Get another SQUIP and name it E." Jared said.

"I am not sharing Jeremy anymore." A and C said, glaring at the poor boy wearing glasses. 

"You two are just jealous." Chloe said, braiding Brooke's hair.

"Am not." C stuck out its tongue. A snickered, nodding, it was fully aware it was jealous of its Jeremy.

That's right.

Its Jeremy.

"So, you going to take us to your favorite restaurants or no?" Christine asked, taking Jared's arm as her own. 

"Yeah, yeah. Just don't do anything that'll upset the world, like pranks or screaming." Jared said with a smile.

"Yeah, like we would do that." Jeremy rolled his eyes, acknowledging he'd be the level-headed one that day.

Or so he hoped.

* * *

There are many things that can ruin a perfect day. Storms, on one hand, can ruin an outdoors event. Someone passing out due to allergies can also ruin your outing, despite it being no one's fault.

Someone being knocked out by a punch, in this case, would definitely ruin an outing with your older brother, his partners, and your friends. It is simply unacceptable in these cases, but what were they going to do? Not speak up for Evan?

Evan still wasn't liked by everyone, to some people he was a hero and to others he was the 'fuh-fuh-fuh-reek' who needed to be taught a lesson. This was something he tried to avoid; he took later classes, he avoided making eye contact, he even stayed in his apartment when he didn't have class. He should've seen this coming, should've told Christine that they couldn't go out, it wasn't a good day. The only problem with that lie is that it was bright and sunny, a small bit of wind, it was the perfect temperature for this outing, after all it was almost winter and the weather would only get worse.

But Evan came across their college's lovely football team, many who respected him for his work. The only one who didn't, and Connor would come to point out that it was cliche, was the quarterback. The quarterback say Evan as a human tackle bag, someone who deserved little respect. Evan was far too friendly for his own good, way to nice and nervous, the worst part was the kid was smart but didn't say anything. What kind of kid wouldn't speak when he was a celebrity? To this guy only a freak wouldn't be proud of his accomplishments.

It was no surprise when Evan say him that this scene played out.

"Great, it's th-th-the stuttering l-luh-luh-oozer." 

Evan stiffened, hearing that. It was no wonder why he didn't speak in public actually, because this happened. 

"No wonder you have to rely on this squirt for friends." The quarterback kicked Jeremy's legs. Jeremy took a deep breath, no need to fight, A, C, and B would absolutely murder this kid if Jeremy got too upset. There was no need for-- "Maybe you should've just stayed hidden."

And that, my friends, is when Jeremy Heere, in all his string-bean strength, knocked out a college senior quarterback with just a punch. 

"Holy shit Jeremy!" Jake covered his mouth.

"Fuck that guy, Evan I will fucking murder anyone who--" Jeremy stopped, looking at the senior on the ground. "Is. . . Is he out?"

"Yes." Evan whispered. "Let's leave, people are staring." 

And that is how Jeremy Heere, out of everyone there, defended his older brother.

It's also the story of how Evan made sure Jeremy was grounded when he got home.


	2. Michael's Chapter

"He's been outside for awhile, hasn't he?" Chloe asked Jeremy. The group was over at Michael's for mostly moral support since his parents would be back the following weekend. Michael went out to get the mail, claiming he was getting a college letter that day. "You think he got it?"

"Of course, he's Michael." Jeremy said, though his voice had hints of doubt. 

"Hey," Michael walked back down to the basement, smiling as weak as he could. "I got the letter."

"Oh, what does it say?" Brooke asked, smiling as sweet as she could. 

"Jer, you remember no matter what we're a team right?" Michael asked, looking at his best friend. "We like out of print games--"

"--retro skates--" Jeremy continued.

"--got a pac-man tattoo." Both said.

"No one here appreciates--" Michael was cut off by Rich.

"Michael that'th a lie, I worthip the damn tattoo! I would make love to that tattoo if I could, actually I will dammit! I will if that convintheth you!" Rich cried.

"As I was saying, no one here appreciates, but--" Michael was cut off yet again.

"I'm with Richie, I think it's hot." Jake said.

"Oh jesus fucking--Jeremy soon we'll be together where they do!" Michael pulled out his acceptance letter. 

"YES! WE'RE GOING TO THE SAME COLLEGE!" Jeremy screamed, jumping on top of Michael. Whether it be by the shock of the random hugging or if it was because Michael was wearing socks and no shoes the two boys came crashing down onto the floor, laughing with relief. "WE'RE GOING TO BE IN COLLEGE TOGETHER!"

"Hell yeah we are!" Michael lifted his hand in triumph as he tried to stop feeling dizzy. 

"Jeremy I think Michael is bleeding." A said. 

"Michael is totally bleeding." C confirmed.

"Maybe we should bandage him." B worried.

"Michael you okay?" Jenna asked.

"Never been better, going to college with my bro, my buddy, my best friend in the world." Michael replied, grinning. "Jeremiah, wanna get off of me?"

"No."

"Okay, fine."

"Dude get off my boyfriend." Rich kicked Jeremy slightly. "I don't want him dead before hith congradulathionth gift." 

"We should go!" Chloe said quickly, knowing what the gift was. Rich had yet to share the crop tops with Michael, Jake has seen them but Michael hadn't. "We have to go! Chris, Brooke! We got to go now!"

"Aww, but Jeremy was going to play video games with--" Christine was cut off by Brooke pressing a kiss to her cheek and pulling her girlfriends out of the house.

"Jeremy, we should probably go too." B said softly, pulling A and C out. Jeremy got up, dusting himself off, and left.

"Jenna, Mads, we should head out." Dustin said quickly, making eye contact with Rich. He knew it was something to do with showy clothes, Michael loved showy clothing when they dated. "Now!"

Rich waited until everyone was gone. "I'm going to change thirtth, then I can thow you how I'll treat that tattoo."

"Oh god I'm going to die before I go to college." Michael hissed. "Is it a--"

"Crop top?" Jake asked. "Yeah, it's that."

"FUCK!"

Michael certainly had a weakness, both Jake and Rich would use that against him now.


	3. Jake And Michael's Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just for the record, and I know this is kink shaming, I don't understand daddy kinks.
> 
> I want to know why there's a pleasure to being called 'daddy' so someone explain to me.
> 
> Maybe it's cause I'm sex-repulsed as hell, but if someone calls someone that I see a middle-aged man with a beard. I see my father sometimes, too. Like how do you not see your father or someone else's father???
> 
> Also: I hecking hate sex, the irony is that I talk about kinks a lot. Sex grosses me the heck out, yet here I am writing this.

It wasn't that Jake was jealous of Rich, it's just that Michael had a favorite.

It was Rich.

Jake and Rich used to have a bet, whoever kissed Michael first got ten bucks. Jake won that one, it was a great, he kissed Michael during the movie whilst the main battle began. Michael was surprised but didn't oppose. Jake thought he won then and there, but he found out how wrong he was. Michael tended to enjoy small, helpless people when they were in need of help. Michael loved Jake, don't get him wrong, they loved each other to death. Michael would die (hint hint) for Jake, he would sacrifice himself to make Jake happy. There was just the fact Rich was small and looked adorable in Michael's hoodies, Michael had a favorite, and he knew it.

They all knew it. Even Jeremy knew it, and when Jeremy knew things it was bad.

"Michael can you help me reach thith?" Rich asked, clambering on top of the kitchen counter. He was trying to reach the sugarbecause he wanted to make cake. Rich glanced back, making eye contact with Jake. Jake clutched the textbook in his hands as Rich had  _the fucking nerve_ to smirk as Michael stood up and walked over to help Rich. "Thankth baaaabe!"

"No problem, Princess, whatcha making?" Michael asked, kissing Rich's head. 

That's another thing Jake hated.

Rich was now princess, and Jake was just Jake.

He wanted a nickname, dammit.

"I'm making thrawberry thortcake!" Rich chirped, smiling.

"Awww, that's so cute, Princess." Michael kissed his head.

"Thankth!" 

"So why's Rich 'princess' again?" Jake asked, noting how Rich glared at Jake. God they still couldn't get along well, and they were best friends, yeah, but still. They were both defensive, jealous people. They would gladly fight for the man they loved, even if that meant fighting your best friend/boyfriend. It wasn't totally normal, they knew it wasn't, but they were willing to be protective of the same man for as long as they all dated. 

"Because Richard has a daddy kink." Michael said.

"I'm not going to deny it." Rich said with a grin. "And Michael ith willing to deal with it for me."

"I sure am Princess." Michael said with a snort. "I don't get why you like 'princess' and not 'prince' Princess." 

"Becauthe I can!"

Jake almost felt left out, they had something wonderful. It's not like he had a special thing with Michael, they didn't have secrets with one another, they didn't share secret cuddles in the hallways, they didn't cook together. Jake sometimes wondered if maybe, just maybe, Michael and Rich would be better off without him.

"Dillinger?" Michael sat down with Jake, placing a hand on Jake's thigh. "You okay?"

"Yeah," Jake lied, "yeah, I am."

It was a shame he was a terrible actor when it counted.

* * *

"Maybe we should find Jake a nickname." Jeremy told Michael, playing with a fidget cube.

"I call him Dillinger and Jacob." Michael said softly.

"Maybe a pet name?" Jeremy offered again.

"Like babydoll?"

"Maybe hunk?"

"Nah, more like heart throb."

"What about stud muffin--"

"I'VE GOT IT!" Michael slammed his hand on Jeremy's table. 

"A name?!" Jeremy asked.

"Oh, I was going to tell him my kink so we could have our own little secret but stud muffin is good."

"That's a load of trust, Player One, you sure you're good with that?"

"I'm positive."

* * *

"What do you want?" Jake asked, closing his locker at school. He was being hostile, he knew it, but Michael was too sweet to Jake in that moment and there was nothing that would make him happy right now. "Michael I have--"

"I like burning people with matches and lighters." Michael said with a grin. "Just a bit."

"I--what?" Jake looked at Michael. "What the fuck?"

"I just. . . I wanted to have secrets with you too!" Michael grabbed Jake's hand. "That's my kink, I like burning people! I want to burn you, I can only do this with you Stud Muffin."

". . . What did you call me?" Jake asked.

"Stud Muffin."

Jake stared at Michael, wrinkling his nose. "You know your way to my heart."

"So, whaddya say? A box of matches and us for tonight?" Michael asked.

"I'll try this out for you." Jake mumbled, but if he were to be honest he was ecstatic to have his own thing with Michael. This was exactly what he wanted, he got what he wanted.

"Good man, now help me study for our calc test! I didn't study at all last night."

"Michael our test is next period!"

"Teach me calculus then!"

Maybe Michael didn't have a favorite.

 

 


	4. Expensive Pins And Patches Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Christine'll be next
> 
> Also, look mate, if someone called my parents "Mother" and "Father" and I was thinking about marrying them I'd be pretty hype, it would be kickass.

This was probably not the right time to have Jake's fingers tangled in his hair and to be kissing up Rich's arm. It was certainly the wrong time to be hoping to get further with both his boyfriends. It was totally the wrong time to shout out a huge 'fuck' when Jake tugged his hair slightly.

"Michael?! You okay?!"

Michael Mell, Jake Dillinger, and Richard Goranski all froze. That was a female voice, not any female from the SQUIP Squad, not anyone from Evan's life, only Michael knew that voice. "Nanay?!"

"Michael!" A deeper voice flooded into the basement as footsteps rapidly came closer. Michael probably should've shoved Jake and Rich into a closet, he should've hid them under his bed, he should have at least got Jake's hand away from his  _goddamn hair_. But, alas, Michael was frozen in place as his mother and father got to the bottom of the stairs, seeing their sweet son trapped between two boys. Michael's father took a deep breath, covering his face. "When I said get off the computer more this was not what I meant."

"Ama! How was your trip! Seven months, amiright? Really long trip." Michael stalled, managing to get Jake's hand out of his hair finally. "How was everything? Did you get me a gift? I made sure the house didn't get destroyed or anything, see I'm a good son."

"Michael, the men." Michael's mother hissed. "Who are the men?!"

"Nanay--"

"Why does he get ama? I should get ina." 

"Ina this is Jacob and this is Richard, they're my boyfriends." Michael said with a smile, then paused before repeating, "did you get me a gift?"

"We brought ensaymada, but I understand if you're too busy with your boyfriends to eat with your parents." Michael's father said. "I totally understand you don't need your parents here right now."

"No! I missed you both! I want to eat with you! Ama!" Michael whined, bouncing on his toes.

"Have they been staying in the same room as you? I know you're my son but anything unprotected can't be good since you didn't--"

"I got the change, Ina! I got the change! My ex paid for it, don't worry, I'm totally not going to get pregnant." Michael said with a grin.

"See how he didn't deny the sex happening, shameless son." Michael's father joked, poking his son's nose. "Jacob and Richard?"

"Jake Dillinger, sir." Jake held out a hand, allowing Michael's father to shake it.

"Good grip, son."

"I'm sorry, please can I have ensaymada?!" Michael asked, frowning.

"This is not what we meant by 'less computer' Mari--Michael. What happened to Jeremy?! Where's your best friend of twelve years?" Michael's mother pursed her lips. "Why's this one so small?"

"I'm not--" Rich started but decided to cut himself off. "I'm Rich Goranthki, Ma'am, I'm jutht thort."

". . . I can dress him up." Michael's mother said softly. "Holy shit."

"Wait, wait, Michael! Didn't you come home with a bruised Jeremy and 'Riends' written on your bag because of these two?" Michael's father finally understood the situation, well actually he didn't. Michael's father thought his son was being bullied into dating the two for no reason other than they were assholes. 

"Best bruised Jeremy of my life." Michael said, sighing softly. "They changed, I promise."

"You sleep upstairs for the next week." Michael's father said, leading Michael upstairs. "Now, we need to make sure the ensaymada is clean."

"I believe you two." Michael's mother said with a smile. "I believe you both are very caring for my dau--son. I still mess it up, but just know Michael may be our son but he used to be his daddy's little girl. That relationship never ends, now does it? He is very protective of Michael, I am too, but their bond will never be the same as ours would."

Jake nodded, Rich giving a small noise of confirmation.

"Good boys, now come have ensaymada."

* * *

"Thearching rethultth for 'ith it pothible to be jealouth of your boyfriend'th parentth." Rich groaned on the fifth day of Michael's parents being home. He was sitting at a table with the SQUIP Squad™ at the mall, Michael coming late because his parents needed him to do something. Jake and Rich didn't know what, but Michael's father scared the hell out of them, so they were being nice.

"Same." Jake hissed out.

"Oh my god! Ina and Ama are back?!" Jeremy asked, his eyes brightening.

"You know that means mother and father, right?" Jake asked with an eyeroll.

"I always called them that, they're practically family! I always called them Ina and Ama, so they're back?!" 

"Yes--"

Jeremy already had his phone out, calling Michael. "Player One, put them on the--HI AMA!" 

Jake and Rich watched with hatred as Jeremy talked it up with Michael's father. Why did he get to talk to Michael's father like this? Why?!

"Love you Ama, tell Ina I said hi and make sure Michael gets to the mall so we can hang out, yeah everyone is here--oh, Rich and Jake? Nah they're cool now, I mean they're very protective of Michael--yes, in all good ways. Don't worry, Ama, they're very nice to Michael--Rich is not weak, he can lift me up by my shirt alone. He's scary, Ama, but he would never hurt Michael." Jeremy said, smiling even more.

"Tell him I love Michael a lot." Rich whispered, sliding Jeremy a fry.

"Rich says he loves Michael very much."

"Me too!" Jake whispered, flicking an onion ring over to the other brunette male.

"Jake does too, love you Ama, see you later." Jeremy hung up, smiling.

"So, tell me, did they approve of your relationship?" Jake asked.

Jeremy looked down, his smile dropping. He slowly looked up, the blank face turning to a sheepish smile. "Don't beat me up, but yes, they loved that Michael and I were together. We were the perfect match to his mom, his father was hesitant, but he still loved me; it's because I was his best friend."

"How are we thupothed to gain their trutht?" Rich asked, poking Jeremy.

"Well, they do love Michael being happy." Jeremy said, his voice more confident with just the poke.

"What do we do with that information--oh." Jake's eyes widened. "Okay."

"Good, you got it." Jeremy winked.

Jake totally got it.

* * *

"Jake!" Michael threw a pillow at Jake, who was reading through his textbook. "Jake c'mon! Movie night!"

"What about Ama and Ina?" Jake asked, licking his thumb to turn the page.

"You. . . You called them father and mother." Michael said softly. 

"I know."

"Oh, Jake!" Michael smiled, throwing his arms around Jake. "I'm sorry if Ama is hostile--"

"Nah, if my kid was dating some guy who happened to live with them I'd get upset too, now what're we watching with them?"

"Richie was babbling about Tangled to Ina, so now we're stuck." Michael grabbed Jake's hands. "C'mon!"

"Okay, okay! Jeez!" Jake let out a laugh, following him upstairs where Rich and Michael's mother were singing together. Michael's father kept his gaze either on Jake or Rich, making sure they were suitable for his darling son. Michael smiled as he sat down, grabbing the popcorn that was on the diningroom table.

And for just a moment it seemed like everything would work out perfectly.

* * *

"Jacob, Richard, be good boys and help an old man out." Michael's father called out, trying to cook buchi by himself. 

"Got it, Ina." Jake walked over, helping the older man. 

"You're not old!" Rich said, a mock offense lacing his tone. 

"You boys seem to care about Michael very much." Michael's father said softly. "So much, taking care of him while we're gone, making sure he eats, even when broken up you two care. I want you to know I will always disagree with you two being his boyfriends, even Jeremy wasn't good enough for my daughter, for my son, no one will be. I am trusting you both to keep him happy, if I hear otherwise I. . . I don't know, kick you both out of the house."

"Got it." Jake said with a smile.

"I'll kill Jake if he doeth anything, he'll kill me, fair?"

Both boys were relieved when Michael's father let out a laugh and uttered one word.

"Fine."

 


	5. Christine's Chapter (Part One of the Christine Wonders)

Christine, once again, had no idea how she got here. She was constantly in a state of wonder when she had an idea, it was almost as if she blacked out and woke up when she was done. She wasn't completely done, but she was awake. She had her arms at her side, foot tapping (something she couldn't help sometimes) impatiently, and eyebrows furrowed. The man in front of her looked either (she couldn't put her finger on it) dead on the inside, tired, or scared--oh! Maybe he just wanted to be friends! Christine thought everyone was able to become a good person after what happened with the SQUIP Squad and Michael, if they could be friends anyone could be friends!

"Look lady, I'm trying to sell shoes--"

"No, I have a complaint." Christine smiled, pausing in her foot tapping to stand up straight. Her smile fell quickly as she crossed her arms. "A SQUIP stole my boyfriend and now they're getting married."

* * *

The day started normal, Christine was clinging to Michael's arm (Chloe and Jake exchanged looks of desperation for their date, sticking with the other person they were dating for the moment) and pointing at a candy store. Jeremy let out a small laugh, nodding at whatever Jenna said at that moment and it almost felt like time stopped. Christine saw the Payless Shoes, she let go of Michael and walked towards it. She could sort of hear Brooke call out to her, she tried to keep walking until she felt someone grab his wrist. She looked up and saw Jeremy holding her, a concerned look on his face. "Christine, what's up?"

"I want to talk to the dealer." Christine said, smiling. "I wanna tell him what the SQUIP did!"

"No." Rich said quickly. "No thpeaking to creepy dealer behind Payleth." 

"I want to!" Christine stood on her toes, smiling. "Pleeeaaaaasssseee?"

"I'll get too worried." Jeremy said softly, letting go of her. "He's pretty creepy--oh god someone grab Christine!"

Christine was making a break for it, trying to go the damn shop. She almost made it, but Chloe caught her by the waist and lifted her in the air. Christine acted like a cat,  ~~it was no wonder Jeremy dated her,~~  trying to claw and kick her way to the store. Chloe had to hold her tighter, flinching every now and then because god Christine could kick. It wasn't until Christine let out a small sigh of defeat that Chloe let go of her. She ran for it, her hands flailing in a small manner, trying to keep her excitement down. She couldn't, she was laughing and making smaller noise of her contentment. She was sure she was going to make it but Michael, keeping up the cat vibe ~~no wonder Jeremy dated him too~~ picked up Christine and held her as if she was his cub, walking her back to the group. Christine whined loudly, squirming in Michael's grip. They made eye contact and the only thing she could tell from the look was that Michael wanted her to go! Michael wanted her to go to the dealer, but he couldn't let the others know! Of course, they had to do this in secret.

It was all clear now, Michael winked and placed her down with the group before letting out a yawn. "I'm heading to Spencer's Gifts. I'm craving some weird drink the guy keeps in the back--maybe it's the girl this time. Either way, I'm getting soda."

"Do they hook you up with weed?" Jeremy asked, keeping a low voice. "I want in--"

"Not while my parents are here, man!" Michael hissed. "No weed until they're at least not in my room every five seconds!"

"Aren't they cool with it?" Jeremy asked, ignoring Michael tapping Christine's side and dragging everyone else the other way.

"Yeah but I don't want them to think--" Christine didn't hear the rest of Michael's sentence, she bolted the shoe store. She was giggling, it was a nice feeling knowing Michael was behind her. It was a close call, she almost made it, but Rich apparently caught on and grabbed her arm. "Chrithtine, no." 

"Rich--"

"I thaid no, let'th go." Rich pulled her as she whimpered and pouted, pointing at the store with big eyes. All she wanted was to talk to the dealer, no one (except Michael) would let her. Speaking of Michael, he was getting one hell of a lecture from Brooke.

"What if she got hurt, huh?! What if she messed with him?!" Brooke had her arms crossed.

". . . I was gonna sneak off but noooo, Jake had to point out I was leaving and Rich ran for her." Michael said with a shrug, grinning lazily at Christine. "Right, Christine?"

"Mmhm!" Christine ran over to Michael. She clambered her way up his back, totally acting as if he was her guardian. Michael kept his arms under her legs, keeping her up, both of them grinning. "Michael was gonna come with me!"

"I'd feel better if Michael was in the store." Jeremy said softly. "I'm good with you being there if he's there."

* * *

So why wasn't Michael there? Christine looked up, trying to remember.

"Look, lady, I don't know why your SQUIP--" 

"Wait," Christine put a hand up, she was really trying to remember this. "I need you to give me a minute, but I do want to know why a SQUIP is marrying my ex."

* * *

"Okay, so you go in and I follow and--" Michael was making a plan, by the time he looked up Christine was gone.

* * *

Oh, that's why.

"I don't know!" The dealer threw his hands up in defeat. "I don't know."

"Okay!" Christine chirped. "That's fine, just wanted to make a complaint--also, it tried to take over the world. You should probably stop selling them unless you want us all to die or be brainless computer hives for the rest of the world's existence."

Christine left, humming and trying to find Michael before the whole group found him and killed him. She loved the satisfaction of finishing her tasks, but the dealer was frozen in his place. He gave the SQUIP dealing job to his cousin, who happened to be dealing them at school.

It would not end well.

 

 

 


	6. Christine's (and Mr. Reye's) Chapter (Part Two Of Christine Wonders)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Icymage and I came up with this, mostly them
> 
> Check out their fic (mate I need to ask your pronouns sooner or later) about a mysterious person who is related to Evan and Jeremy (it's gonna be greaaat)
> 
> Welcome to our fics on Maple Avenue, see how we polish and we shine, we rewrite and realign, everything is proper and clean, like chaos never happens even if it's seen.
> 
> Yes I rewrote those lyrics that don't belong to me but y'all should listen to/read Fun Home, amazing story full of LGBTQIA+ characters!

Christine had to stop doing the blackout thing, it's not like she was actually passing out or that she was drunk. She was always wide awake, aware of what's going on, it's almost like she just forgets everything that happens after two hours. Maybe that was the ADD, it was probably ADD, she should probably get another stim toy or see someone about medication. Maybe she can just stay--wait, not the point. The point is that she was doing the blackout thing again.

Why did she not remember getting adopted?

* * *

It started out simple, it really did. Christine was singing 'Legally Blonde' for practice with Dustin, she was owning it actually. She loved this song so much, in fact it may have been her favorite song of them all. She was totally working it when Mr. Reyes stopped for break, concern dancing across his face, no one pointed out he didn't say "hot pocket" before break. No one cared, actually, they didn't even notice.

No one except Christine.

"Hey, Chris, wanna stay over Brooke's tonight?" Chloe asked, smiling.

"Sure, not like I can stay at your place alone!" Christine said with a laugh.

Mr. Reyes crossed his arms, walking over to Rich. "Is Christine staying at Chloe's?"

"Oh, yeah, Chrithtine wath living alone but now the'th with Chloe tho they're living with each other. It'th kind of our thing, I gueth? I live with Jake and Michael--I mean, Jake and I have hometh elthewhere but we like thtaying with--" Rich was cut off, because sadly this isn't his chapter.

"Where was she staying before?" Mr. Reyes asked, crossing his arms. "She seems upset."

"Jakey-D wath paying for her apartment--ithn't he won--" 

It's still not your chapter Richard.

Mr. Reyes walked over to Christine, tapping her shoulder and directing her to the other side of the theater. Chloe gave a snort, crossing her arms as she turned to Brooke. Christine frowned, wanting to go back to her girlfriends--that felt right--her girlfriends. Mr. Reyes stopped, finally, and gave her a look. "Christine, how long have you been staring in my plays?"

"Well I started doing these with you when I was in second grade in an off school production, what's your point?" Christine asked, tilting her head.

"How long have you been living alone?" Mr. Reyes asked, crossing his arms. "Christine, you know I love you like a daughter, you're my star."

"Who told you--"

"Christine you're living with Chloe, just let me adopt you!" Mr. Reyes threw his hands in the air.

"Adopt me?"

"Yes! Adopt you!" Mr. Reyes hugged Christine close. "My wife and partner will love you, they already do!"

"I know Marium and Taylor are very fond of me, Marium already taught me some piano. She's really good at teaching, how's Taylor? I haven't seen xem for awhile now." Christine was stalling, she was scared of losing another family. If she stalled enough maybe he'd drop it and she could leave, what if Chloe got mad and dumped her? Would Brooke dump her too? Then Mr. Reyes would realize she's a scared little kid who doesn't believe she deserves love. "Um, so is xe still--"

"Christine." Mr. Reyes cut her off. "Please."

Christine gulped, tears forming in her eyes. "M-Mr. Reyes you don't want me there, I-I'm a lot of money because tuition! Jake is able to pay because of the money his parents stole but--"

"We have enough." Mr. Reyes whispered. 

"Oh Mr. Reyes!" Christine wailed, gaining the attention of literally everyone in the room. She threw her arms around him, sobbing into his shirt. Maybe this would be a good thing for her, a new family.

"As your new father I must say, staying over at your girlfriend's house? How am I to trust you all?" Mr. Reyes teased, earning a snort from the girl holding onto him.

"Mr. Reyes!"

"Please, Christine, Ray."

Christine smiled and nodded, sniffing before bursting into tears again. Mr. Reyes let out a small laugh, patting her head. This was going to work, they were sure of it.

* * *

"Christine, help me out here." Taylor, Mr. Reyes' lovely partner, leaned back, looking at xir newly adopted daughter. "I'm trying to write something, I need your input."

Christine shook herself out of the memory she had, trotting over to Taylor. She read through the scene of xir new play, smiling. "This is all over the place, move it to the party."

"It is not all over the place--"

"You asked for her input, love." Marium, the wonderful wife, called from the piano. "Christine is often right, except when it comes to piano."

"She's right then too!" Mr. Reye's called from the kitchen.

Christine smiled, clutching a pillow in her arms. She felt whole, she was part of a real family.

And everything was perfect.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can you tell Richard's my favorite? He always has been. . . Book, musical, probably the play when I watch it. . . I love him
> 
> There will be more of the Reyes-Canigula family chapters!


	7. Platonic Boyf Riends Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my name is Dork, I am a proud dork, I really like "It" fight me, I thought the movie was good, the mini-series was good, the book was good, fight me.
> 
> And Richie, in 'It', is my favorite character. Maybe it's because I'm an asshole, that's probably why. Debate in the comments, I'd like to see.
> 
> Ha! This reminds me of my fanfic.net account which SUCKED, but I used to asked a question and no one would answer! Haha! Ha. . . ha. . . good times.

"Jeremy!"

"Michael!"

This was hell for the dates of two teens mentioned. They all stared at each other, B was off somewhere else, so it was four people trying to stare at everyone else. It was as stupid and comedic as one may think. Jeremy and Michael were doing their best friend handshake ("It's a high shake, Jeremy." "Never call it that again Michael.") which was their greatest prize. 

"I'm telling you, it's a high shake since we do a high five like. . . twice! Then we do a foot five! It's a freaking high five!" Michael slung an arm around Jeremy. "It's a high shake."

"Never call it that, Michael it sounds like we're getting high." Jeremy said with a snort. "Where's Ina and Ama?" 

"They're on a date." Michael said softly, ruffling Jeremy's hair. "So instead of having some good ol' date nights with the ol' boyfriends I'm spending time with you. Let's play some games, okay? Let's--"

"We should look through old pictures of ourselves because even though Michael Mell is sexy as hell, Maria Mell was kind of cute." Jeremy said softly.

"Yeah, and her boyfriend," Michael was glaring at Jeremy, making sure Jeremy could hear the boy in the word. 

"Ouch."

"Yeah, well get out of my way loser."

"That's cold!"

The four dates watched as the two teens let their voices grow louder. . . and louder. . . and louder! It got pretty intense, a bit shameful, but mostly intense. Michael had Jeremy pinned on the wall with just his elbow and Jeremy was kicking his knees and shins. It was probably painful, let's be honest, but Jeremy froze suddenly and moved Michael's arm, showing he had control. "WE SHOULD WATCH A MOVIE! IN THE THEATER! AND COSPLAY!" Jeremy shrieked, looking at Michael, not caring he was being a total dweeb.

Apparently Michael was also a dweeb, grinning like crazy. " 'It' came out, I'll curl my hair and get in other clothes. I'll be my son Richie, he was my favorite character in everything! Bro, my dude, you should go as Be--"

"Eddie." Jeremy said quickly. "I should go as Eddie."

Michael turned bright red, for reasons unknown to the four other people (well, two of them were ex computers) but sure enough Michael was red. Jeremy was smiling innocently before he did an overdramatic wink in Michael's direction. Michael shuddered slightly, biting his lower lip. "It's 'cause I had a thing for him, isn't it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Jeremy cooed, ignoring the fact Jake just snapped a pencil.

"I had a huge, gay, weird ass crush on his adult version when I was in sixth grade dammit. You know this, Jeremy! You should go as Stan the Man, you're Jewish."

"And I want to die."

"Shit dude, that's. . . That's me too." 

Rich, Jake, A, and C had to fight the urge to run to their partners, if they did so the "bro night" would be ruined, and no one liked a pissed off Michael and/or Jeremy. Having those two pissed off was scary, they fought for each other fiercely. They also tended to cry, and them crying was the worst conclusion anyone could have. Crying meant no cuddles nor kisses, crying meant getting ignored for two days, crying meant them being upset. So the four dates just stood their ground, grinding their teeth.

"Well, you know the rules, no killing yourself or else I kill myself." Michael said, clapping Jeremy on the back. 

"We made that pact in seventh grade--" Jeremy started.

"I plan to stick with the pact, dammit."

"Fair, now let's goooooo!" Jeremy grabbed Michael's arm and pulled him to the basement to get dressed. They took cosplaying very seriously, if you couldn't tell. It was important for both of them to get into character.

It was a cute trait for both of them.

* * *

"God, I wish I had the skill to just be fine, and cool, and chill!" Jeremy hissed whilst standing in front of his locker with his friends. He was going to bash his head in at this point, he had a presentation next class and he couldn't remember a word without staring directly at his notecards. He, sadly, was not allowed to look at them the whole time. It was a tragic day for Jeremies everywhere.

But luckily for every sad Jeremy there is a Michael to help.

"Um, excuse you, you're hella fine." Michael said, elbowing his best friend's side. "Plus, you're pretty cool."

"I'm going to be a virgin until I die." Jeremy moped.

"What the fuck am I?!" Michael threw his hands up.

"You're basically me, that's how close we are, you were masturbation."

"I'm going to kill you."

"I'll die never knowing what it's like being submissive, happy?!" Jeremy crossed his arms.

It was probably uncomfortable for the group, but they could suck it. The reader may be uncomfortable, but fight me, Jeremy is a horny teenager in all forms. "Just ask A to use his BDSM skills and get you good." Michael said with a shrug. "It'll work, it's been waiting to get in your pants since you first took it."

"Yeaaaah, but I want to wait for the wedding night. I'll be dead by then, it's too good to be true." Oh Jeremy, you sweet summer child, you get married. "I think it'll call off the wedding before anything happens."

"I'll punch it again." Michael wrapped his arms around Jeremy. "Remember, we're best friends 'till the end. We're going to college together, we're going to be so cool!"

"We are, aren't we?"

"Of course."

Both teens stood there, not letting go of each other. They had been holding each other for seven minutes before Rich opened his mouth, not being able to help himself.

"You two are tho fucking gay."

* * *

"Night Jer."

"Night Michael."

"Hey, Jer?"

"Yeah?"

"You're cooler than Pac-Man."

"Love you too, bro."


	8. A Whole Squad (Minus Sincerely Three) Chapter

It was incredible, it really was. Despite Jeremy's constant sweating (something he bonded with Evan over) and Michael's random jerks away from flying things, the two made it work. Jeremy and Michael would throw the controllers to each other, catching the one thrown to them. No one would do that, they literally changed characters by doing this, it would drive the group insane. Despite this, the two seemed happy doing this. Every now and then Michael would get up, grab Jeremy from behind, and steal the controller back whilst kicking him out of his beanbag. They changed seats too, that drove the group crazy even if they weren't being moved. It was kind of annoying, even Christine thought it was annoying, but the two did it.

"So, the musical is coming up." Jeremy said, tossing his controller to Michael again.

"Mmhm!" Michael caught it, throwing his controller to Jeremy and going quickly to the game. "Oh hell! Jeremy help me out!"

"I gotcha buddy, but I was thinking for our next show, what would you guys want for our next musical? I was thinking Hamilton--"

"With what black people?" Michael snorted. There was an eerie silence--no, not just eerie, it was also uncomfortable. "So race is where we get uncomfortable? Not drugs, not drinking, not breaking the law, it's fucking race."

"Well, um, you?" Christine tried.

"Yes, let me play every role in the play except Eliza and King George." Michael snorted again. "I will kill it as Angelica."

"God you'd be hot as Angelica." Jeremy hissed.

"Woah! Woah! My boyfriend tall athth!" Rich ran over to Michael, because he switched seats awhile ago. He hugged Michael close, pouting slightly, because goddammit Jeremy couldn't say that about HIS Michael. "Thith ith my hot boyfriend, not yourth! Fight me aththhole!"

"Well, um, instead of Hamilton how about we do In The Heights." Brooke said, changing the subject. They had to deal with a possessive Richard before, that lead to a night many of them wanted to bleach from their memories.

Jake didn't, Jeremy didn't really mind it either, A even didn't erase its memory of this.

"With what Puerto Ricans?" Michael asked.

"Well, you could--" Chloe started.

"I'm Filipino." Michael interrupted her, waving her off. "Let's not do a Lin musical, love the man, but no."

"How about Heathers?" Christine asked, looking at Michael. "Is that good enough for you, Michael?!"

Michael blinked, pausing the game, and staring at Christine. "That is perfect, but it'll only work if Jake is JD."

"Oh god no!" Christine held no punches, Jake flinched slightly. "Michael, you need to be JD!"

"HA! Last time I was in a play I almost cried--"

"You did cry." Jeremy interrupted.

"--and I almost fainted--"

"You fainted on stage, Michael." Jeremy kept going.

"--we've all agreed I'm better in the background, unseen, easy to forget." Michael finished. "If I may quote our lord and savior, Jeremy Heere," Michael cleared his throat. " 'I'm never going to be the cool guy, I'm more the one that's left out. Of all the characters at school I am not the one who the story's about'."

"Whom." Jeremy corrected.

"You said who then, Heere." 

"Fuck you, Mell."

"Cursing isn't--" B started.

"When the hell did Jeremy say this?! Why are you saying this?! Why are we allowing this?!" Jenna stood up, moving over to Michael and hugging him close. "Shhh, it'll all be okay my sweet summer child. Shhhhhhh, it's going to be okay."

"I know Jenna." Michael gave the girl a smile.

Jenna smiled, letting go and walking to Jeremy, pulling him close. "You too, my lovely child. You are not allowed to think that anymore, got it?"

"Understood Jenna."

"Oh! I know! Let's do 21 Chump Street!" Christine clapped her hands.

"With what Puerto Rican girl?!" Michael asked, crossing his arms.

"You'd be a really good Justin." Christine insisted, going to grab Michael's arm until he got up and snatched Jeremy's controller. "Come on, sing for us!"

Michael shook his head before making eye contact with Jeremy. There was that evil smirk, almost a cat face with a small furrow of the eyebrows ~~god he was furry~~ and of course Michael was going to be pissed or embarrassed.

Turns out both.

"Such beautiful hair, tall and strong--" Jeremy began to sing, a high pitched voice.

"SHUT UP!" Michael turned bright red.

"--he will protect me, he's my best friend, Jeremiah Heere!" Jeremy finished, grinning.

"I. Was. Twelve. With. A. Crush. And. I. Just. Read. Harry. Potter." Michael hissed through gritted teeth.

"He thought Ginny had the right idea, writing a song, he sang it--I have a recording of it actually." Jeremy stood up.

"We're at Michael's." C nudged Jeremy with its foot.

"I keep it here." Michael covered his face. "I kept it so Jeremy wouldn't show it to you all when he was popular and I was alone. I really, really, really hate that video. I was going to burn it but your dad came in when I was burning our concert tickets and I didn't get to it."

"You burned our what now?!" Jeremy screeched. "What about the magic cards?!"

"Gone." Michael breathed out.

"What the hell?!"

"I just got friend broken up with, you literally blocked me in real life Jeremy!"

"Michael can sing, I've heard him." Jenna walked over to Michael, tugging his arm. "Sing for us, come on."

"Haaaaaaaa, noooooooooo." Michael looked down. 

"I'll sing Naomi." Jeremy gave Michael a small smile. "Do you smoke?"

"No." Michael said quickly.

"Falsettos! Let's do that!" Chloe said quickly. "Yeah!"

"A can be Whizzer." Jake said, letting Rich lean on him.

"It could." Jeremy whispered, looking at his date. 

"No." A said, poking Jeremy with a shock pen. Jeremy winced a bit, grabbing onto A quickly for support. C liked this result, grabbed the pen, and shocked Jeremy again, smiling more and more each time.

"Annnnd we lost." Michael said with a smile, hearing the game over music. "Thanks C, you asshole, you made us lose!"

"He's so cute though--"

"C no."

Just another normal day for the squad.


	9. Christine, Her Parents, and The Others' (mostly Michael) Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ummmmmm  
> TheIcyMage came up with Mr. Reyes name and all the other people, I just made small suggestions. They could probably write this whole thing. . .  
> They're a really great writer check out their fics

"So. . .is it good?"

"You're a playwright my girl."

"Yay!"

Christine sat with her new parents, looking at her very first (okay it wasn't first, but it was the first approved by someone who wrote plays and someone else who wrote music! Mr. Ray Reyes approved all her plays, he said she had a gift) and yeah, it was great! Christine got signatures from all her friends that she could use them in her play, everyone except Michael already agreed to play themselves! Christine had to convince him later that he needs to play himself. She wrote him a song and everything, it would be a shame if he didn't play Michael Mell. She even picked out the perfect name for the musical!

Be More Chill.

"I can't wait to show the squad!" Christine cheered, hugging the sheet music she wrote to her chest. "They're going to love it!"

"Oh sweetie, I can't believe Michael literally said 'Michael makes an entrance' during the play." Ray kissed Christine's head. 

"Yes Papa."

No matter how many times Christine called him 'Papa' Ray would always tear up, which would make Christine hug him and ask what's wrong, which would cause more tears to develop. Taylor was worst, xe would break down each time Christine said 'Bibi' or 'Nini' and hug her until she couldn't breathe. Marium was the one who put Christine to bed each night, saying that "Mommy knows everything, Christie" which would make Christine practically glow. Marium sang Christine to sleep, sometimes crawling into bed to snuggle with Christine.

Marium was also great with kisses, she supplied many head kisses and back rubs.

She was a good mother.

Taylor was also a great parent, xe would debate scripts with her. Taylor reenacted Shakespeare (despite xir hatred of the man) with Christine just because she got all hype over the sword fights and the language. She loved it even if Taylor reminded her every sentence was a dirty joke, so Taylor loved it too. 

Ray was perfect, even if everyone in the cast accused him of picking favorites. Christie would always get a lead and that was final, but despite him worrying if he was picking favorites he knew Christine would get the lead anyway, she was that amazing. Ray would also let Christine help direct at the Hobby Lobby, giving her a taste of the directing life.

Over all Christine was happy writing this musical with her parents.

Now she just needed to show everyone else.

* * *

"Ahem!" Christine cleared her throat at the next get together, smiling sweetly. "I found the perfect musical for us to perform next semester, I wrote it myself!"

"I'm game, what's it called?" Jeremy, not surprisingly, was the first to agree to this idea. 

"Be More Chill!" Christine clapped her hands.

"Ah, the one based off of us--you wrote that already?! We gave you our signatures yesterday!"

"My parents helped me! Anyway, all of you can play yourselves! It'll work!"

"Who's gonna play me?" Michael asked, looking up from his wonderful magic game (Jeremy bought him fifty packs just to get the one card again) which he was winning.

"You!" Christine said with hope.

"Ha, nope."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes!"

"No!"

Christine took a huge breath. "Yesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyesyes!"

"Why should I?" Michael asked, crossing his arms. "I hate acting, well I mean I like it, but I don't like crowds watching me perform."

"I have a reason right here, your solo!" Christine pulled out the script from her bag, placing it in Michael's hands and turning to a page nearing the middle. It was the 67th page of 108 pages. Michael's breath hitched as he began to read something unknown to the rest of the group. Then the tears came, they were subtle at first but now they were coming down quickly. "Michael?"

"I'll play myself." Michael whispered. "I'll play me."

"Yeah?" Christine asked.

"Y-Ye--" Michael tried to keep talking, but he broke down into tears. Christine hugged him, smiling, trying to get rid of the tears that were continuing to pour down his face. Everyone tried to see the script, to see why Michael was crying, but Christine closed it before anyone could see.

It was a surprise.

* * *

"How'd you even find out about what I was feeling in the bathroom?" Michael asked Christine, practicing at her house (even if Legally Blonde was next, he needed this) with her parents buzzing around the house.

"I have my secrets!" Christine answered, poking Michael.

"Okay, I'll sing it one more time before leaving! I am hanging in the bathroom. . ."

 


	10. Platonic Boyf Riends Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Debating doing a Voltron fic
> 
> Huh
> 
> Also: debating doing more Stage Dorks

Honestly, Jeremy was used to panicking! It was his speciality, he did it for a living (almost) and he was fine with that.

He was not fine when Michael was hurt, that was a different kind of panic. This panic came like a hurricane, crashing down on Jeremy alone. Jeremy was hiccuping, sobbing, hugging himself. Michael was out cold, his friends (prior to his panic) were acting like nothing happened, he was at Michael's house without Michael being their fully. To be fair, he was outside Michael's house. It was not a good day for Jeremies everywhere, it was a terrible day for Jeremies.

* * *

"Then we'll--fuck!"

"Michael?!"

Michael and Jeremy were walking to Spencer's, it was normal to get drinks whilst their friends were at the wonderful Goranski household ("Michael why is it Goranski now?" "Ama, it's important Richard, Jacob, and I have good last names!") waiting for them to return, what wasn't normal was Michael's ankles. Michael didn't let anyone (not even Jake or Rich) see that he had ankle braces except Jeremy. Michael would secretly put them on everyday, making sure no one could tell what was wrong with his ankles because honestly? He hated doing physical therapy, he hated doing step ups and elliptical and even heel lifts exercise! It sucked, it all sucked majorly, he told Jeremy that if Jake and Rich found out he'd have to go to the gym with them. They were monsters at the gym, they scared him when they worked out, it would end poorly for him.

So since everyone was there he didn't get a chance to put on the braces.

And he fell, his face landing on the sidewalk, his cheek gaining a gash and his nose bleeding. It hurt a lot, there was no denying that, and Jeremy's face is priceless. The pain, as mentioned previously, is shared between the two. This is partly because Jeremy can feel it but also because Jeremy can see it. They both have tears in their eyes, but Michael is smiling whilst Jeremy is not. "Naaahhh, Jer I'm good. . . Help me up, I can't walk." Michael mumbles, reaching out for his best friend. Jeremy wraps an arm around Michael, lifting him and walking him back to his house-- "No, to Spencer's man! Wanna retro drink, really cool one, let's do it."

"Michael no." Jeremy hissed, still walking forward. "You know how scared Rich and Jake are going to be?"

They ended up not being scared.

"Faaaaiiiiiir--ow! Jeremy! Careful!" Michael hissed out as Jeremy picked Michael up, placing Michael on his back as a parent would their son who was hurt. "Jer?"

"I'm carrying you, you idiot!" Jeremy hissed back. "You forgot your braces again! I can't believe you, why didn't you put them on?"

"Didn't wan' anyone to see 'em." Michael mumbled. "I need painkillers."

"Yeah, okay, let's just get you some painkillers." Jeremy walked into Spencer's, grabbing whatever he could for Michael (including drinks, which were on the house) and heading to a train station closest to him.

It was easier than walking, in the end.

* * *

"Is Michael okay?" Christine, of course, was the first to take note of Michael's drugged out state and bleeding face. "That's dried blood, oh goodness."

"I'm fine, I just need to lay down and get some rest." Michael saw the full couch and laid on the floor, groaning. "Perfect."

"No! No! Let's go! Bed! Now!" Jeremy couldn't complete his sentences, his words came out as bullet points, and he began to worry again. His voice turned into a whimper, a plea almost, which pissed off the dates of the two teens. "Michael, please let me take you to bed?"

"Okay, lay with me." Michael got up, grabbing Jeremy by the hair, and pulling him by the hair. This is when everyone discovered (A and C knew) Jeremy's soft spot, which was the hair. Jeremy let out a small whine, moving with Michael to make it easier for his poor teenage hormones not to go beserk. Jeremy laid Michael in bed, tucking him in, and sitting on the bed. "Lay with me! Please?"

"Do you want anything? Anything at all?" Jeremy asked, blinking.

"Salabat!" Michael smiled. "Ina made some and there's a thermos--"

Jeremy walked downstairs, grabbing the drink quickly. When he got back up Michael was still talking, mainly to himself at this point.

"--it's so good, lay down with me!"

Jeremy rolled his eyes, but he still got under the covers and smiled at his best friend. Michael smiled, drank all his tea in a gulp, kissed Jeremy's forehead and closed his eyes. Jeremy laid there for twenty minutes, listening to Michael breathe. Jeremy waited until he was sure Michael was asleep before going back down, seeing all his friends in the same state. They were laughing, eating, listening to music, it was terrible. "He's fine."

"Good!" Jenna said with a smile.

Jeremy nodded, a headache forming.

It would go away soon, hopefully.

* * *

He was wrong.

He couldn't breath now, he was freaking out.

"I need Michael's keys!" Jeremy hissed. 

"What the fuck?" Jake made a face. "Why?"

"I need to drive when I'm scared! Give me his keys!"

"Why are you scared?" Chloe made a face.

"Why shouldn't I--" Jeremy gasped, trying to breathe. He shook his head and ran outside, maybe he'd get in a train. Maybe--

Shit, he was gasping. He needed air, he needed air, he needed--

"Jeremy?" Michael's voice was soft, kind--wait Michael?! "Jeremy, hey it's okay, I'm fine."

"Uh uh." Jeremy covered his face. "Get back to bed Michael--"

"Come on, let me drive you a bit."

* * *

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

"You're the best."

"I know."

"I'm fine now, let's get you back to bed--"

"No. We're gonna drive until you're better and then renting a hotel, we're staying there, Jake filled my credit card." Michael said softly, glancing at Jeremy. Jeremy smiled before nodding off, allowing Michael to smile. "You loser, you got all worked up for nothing. Okay, now to avoid dying via your SQUIPs."

Michael was, truly, the best.

 


	11. A's Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For my bud, my bro, my dude, my friend, my--  
> Y'all know it's TheIcyMage.  
> Y'all know.  
> Probs not what you asked for but I H A V E N O C H I L L

A believes its favorite part of the day is when it gets to brush Jeremy's hair. It loves brushing Jeremy's hair with a passion, it's so relaxing. First it'll curl Jeremy's hair, just a little bit so it has a wavy factor. Every now and then it'll clip Jeremy's ear with the curler, not enough to burn, just enough for him to feel. Then it'll brush all the hair to one side, best to keep him as cute as possible! Then it will kiss Jeremy all over, leaving no mark without affection. Hair care time has become A and Jeremy's time, C can't bother them, B can't dictate, it's all them.

"I love you." Jeremy said, getting on the bed as A plugged in the curler. "Thanks for doing this for me, Evan's coming over tonight and--"

"I love you too." A interrupted, placing a kiss on Jeremy's head. "You're going to be so cute--I mean handsome, that's what I meant! I do not sound like a human, what are you talking about?"

"I want to be cute." Jeremy jutted his lip out ever so slightly, he knew he gained power when he did that. A was weak as hell for this, and they both accepted it. "I want to be your cute little Jeremy! I want to--"

"Look, kiddo, if you keep saying that there will be no hair done. There will be Jeremy locked in bedroom, most likely chained to a bed, and he won't leave for the next week." A grumbled--hey, that didn't sound like a bad idea! Maybe it should--

"I'll be good! Jeez, never thought you'd be the kinky type." Jeremy fiddled with his fingers before flinching and stopping.

"What's wrong?"

"My tics and fidgets are too. . . ugly."

A froze, remembering the damn things it said. A placed the curler down, sitting next to Jeremy, and extended its arms. Jeremy instantly curled up in its arms, squeezing the life out of his hands. If he squeezed hard enough he wouldn't fidget, it hurt but that's fine! He didn't want to be ugly, he wanted to be beautiful and if that meant getting hurt he would hurt himself! "Jeremy, no." A whispered, sliding a hand down his arm and separating his hands. "You fidget as much as you please, you're so beautiful Jeremy, you're the most beautiful person I know. You're even cuter than Christine and that's difficult!"

"I'm not cute! I'm ugly and I have no charm and--"

Jeremy knew this would happen, hell it happened in SQUIP Tips! A thought kisses were perfect ways to shut Jeremy up, it was a fact. The kiss was sweet, soft, long, passionate, and both couldn't help but enjoy the ride. A pulled back, picking up the curler and brushing Jeremy's hair softly before catching the locks with the curler. "Jeremy, I'm like the witch from the musical Christine showed me. Her name was, um, Glinda right? Galinda? What kind of name is--not the point!" A smiled before opening its mouth again. "Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I, and let's face it! Who is less fortunate than I?--"

"The correct word in the sentence is me--"

"Jeremy, my tender hard tends to bleed and when someone needs a makeover, I simply have to take over! I know, I know exactly what I need! Even in your case, though it's the easiest case--"

"A those aren't the lyrics--"

"We're determined to succeed. Follow my lead and you will be popular, you're gonna be popular! I'll teach you the proper poise when you talk to boys--don't talk to boys--little ways to flirt and flounce, oh! I'll show you what shoes to wear, how to fix your hair, everything that counts to be popular!"

"A this isn't making me feel better--"

"You're popular!"

"A those aren't the lyrics!"

"You're so popular, you make me want to court you, build us a fort, marry you now and never let go! No need to start, for you already know." A grinned, peppering Jeremy in kisses as the teen giggled and grabbed A's shirt. A wasn't allowed to sing the actual lyrics to Popular, Jeremy got upset that time. As A covered Jeremy in kisses it forgot that it was supposed to clip Jeremy with the curler. The writer failed to mention Jeremy was the reason for the curling touches, Jeremy liked those. "Want me to sing the actual lyrics?"

"Mm-mm." Jeremy nuzzled his head into A's chest. "Keep brushing."

"Popular," A sang whilst brushing, "I know about popular, and with assist from me to be who'll you'll be--"

"Whom--"

"--instead of dreary who you were--not are! There's nothing that can stop you from being popular--er!" A let the curler touch Jeremy's neck for a second before pulling it away. "La la, la la, we already made you popular!"

"When you see depressing creatures, with unprepossessing features--" Jeremy sang, he was shut up by A's lips before the lips were gone too soon.

"Shall I remind you, on my personal behalf, celebrated features of my date include his great demeanor! Do you have brains or knowledge, of course you do! You're also popular! It's all about you being popular! You've got me wooed, it's the way you're viewed! I won't be crude you see, very very popular to me!" A finished the last curl, beginning to brush it to the side. "I love you."

"I love you too," Jeremy promised, "now sing the rest to me, correct lyrics baby."

"And though you protest your disinterest, I know clandestinely. You're gonna grin and bear it: your newfound popularity! La la, la la! You'll be popular--" A stopped, unsure if it could say the last line.

"But not as popular as me!" Jeremy finished, smiling. "How do I look?"

"You look beautiful, want me to sing that for you next?" A asked, sliding a hand down Jeremy's back.

"I want you to kiss me until I feel beautiful!" Jeremy declared, leaning back on his bed.

A rolled its eyes, but it leaned down and kissed Jeremy over and over away. There was little hope Jeremy would be leaving the room, it was their time, their time was the only time they savored.

"You're so popular, god Jeremy you're popular." A whispered to Jeremy, getting off the bed. "Now let's go downstairs, you're late--and Evan cares! You really have to go, so let's fix your hair, I'll tie it in a bow."

"You had to rhyme, huh?" Jeremy asked whilst nuzzling his head into A's neck. "Carry me! No bow!"

A groaned but picked Jeremy up. "I can't wait until we're married, you'll get nervous beforehand--"

"No I won't!"

Jeremy you had a panic attack.

"Shh, my little Jeremy, you will, and it'll all work out." A carried Jeremy downstairs, plopping him on the couch.

"This happens every time you two do Jeremy's hair." Heidi pointed out, placing rolls on the table. "Come here Jeremy, help your mother set the table."

Jeremy ran off to help Heidi, A sighed dreamily before mumbling to himself: "He's so popular."


	12. Pinkberry On Stage (Mostly Brooke's) Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uhhh hi I'm forcing IcyMage to write the snap thing you told me about.
> 
>  
> 
> Fight me.

Brooke really was alone sometimes. When she was alone she tended to cry, Chloe always cried and look at her! She was probably making out with Christine right now, that's where she was.

And Brooke was alone.

She was on her phone, looking through her Instagram. Yep, there was Michael posting about some cosplay he was going to attempt--oh, and there's Jeremy, not falling too far behind Michael's post. Jeremy's was about the awesome ideas he and Michael had for their cosplay--when did B get an Instagram? Brooke didn't even know, but she apparently followed it, and it posted about a lemon bar recipe. Brooke screenshotted it, whispering to herself she would try it later. Next up was Jenna, she had the latest gossip apparently, it was about her. It was about her senior prom dress, to be exact, and woah did she look good! Next was Rich and--and was that a five pound doughnut? 

"Jeez Richie, you're going to kill Jake." Brooke said to herself before commenting 'save me a piece' and moving on.

Next up was Jake, and god did Brooke love Jake's posts now, he had posted a picture of the tamilok Michael apparently made him as a joke for lunch. The caption was simple, it was 'a lovely snack from my (soon to be) fiance' and all it did was warm Brooke's heart. Oh! It was Chloe! Her post was. . . Oh, her post was beautiful, it was Christine in a bikini, it was the middle of winter and Christine was in a bikini, of course. That was a Christine for you, she was stunning and weird and perfect. 

Brooke envied that about her.

Christine's post was simple, it was of her hair with a little 'legally blonde' in the caption. Dustin, being the meme he was, had a picture of himself with a skateboard and the caption saying 'I have no idea what I'm doing, post the results later' and, of course, the result was the first thing Brooke checked. It was Dustin covered in bruises and a scratch on his cheek, no caption, just a smile. Madeline had a picture of confit de canard, a smiling emoji as her caption. 

"Okay, so she's French." Brooke rolled her eyes, a smile gracing her lips.

Jared was next, a picture of his snap story, Evan was curled up in a blanket. The caption was 'a happy tree' and gosh, it was lovely! Connor had a picture of Jared without his glasses, the caption saying something about him being cuter when he was blind. Evan's post was, of course, a tree with a little quiz. Brooke took it, she was a sycamore through and through. She curled up and put her phone down, if she were to be honest she was lonely.

"Brookie cookie, lookie at what that person took-y while you were playing hooky." Brooke mumbled a rhyme she used to hear as a kid from her parents. When she became a fan of Star Wars her dad replaced 'person' with 'wookie' as a tribute to her favorite movie. "No wonder she has loads of friends, because she always tends to keep everything from their ends, so let's keep these trends!"

Brooke was really lonely.

* * *

"So it's just. . . It's just me alone." Brooke told herself, eating chicken noodle soup. The house was very empty, she was sort of cold. She got up and grabbed fluffy pajamas and some blankets. "I'm all alone, of course I am. It's like when Jeremy cheated on me--well, he didn't ask to cheat it was sort of forced, wasn't it? Well, she was still alone like then, but she wouldn't be alone for long.

Hopefully she wouldn't.

* * *

"Hey Brooke!" Christine called through the house, bouncing to her girlfriend. "Where are yooooouuu? Papa says I can't stay over but I'm here for dinner, if you want! I brought tuna!"

"I'm in my room!" Brooke called back, chucking her Ben & Jerry's carton in the trash can near her bed, then slid the trash can under her bed. They didn't need to know she was eating ice cream, no one needed to know.

"Hi!" Christine ran in, jumping on Brooke's bed. "Chloe is bringing you your gifts, they're pictures of me in a bikini because we know what you like--"

"CHRISTINE!" Brooke squealed.

"Kidding! They're actually cute bathbombs, promise!" Christine hugged Brooke, smiling.

Maybe she wasn't alone.


	13. Michael's Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I needed to?  
> I find it easier to write for the boys because. . . Well, I don't know.  
> The musical will happen soon, promise

It's always a bad sign when your boyfriend sends you out of your house, sending you to hang out with Jeremy or Brooke or anyone. It's never a good sign when he texts you, in a groupchat mind you, something like this:

_**Player_One sent a message to PitifulChildren!** _

**Player_One: Heyyyyyyyy everyone.**

**Player_One: I. . . I need you all to come to my house?**

**Player_One: I messed up.**

**Jenna_Cakes: You must've fucked up majorly to text that**

**Player_One: Don't curse! Just get over here!**

**Short_and_Bisexual: babe what's wrong?**

**Jakey_D: you literally sent us over to Jeremy's house.**

**He's_Heere_and_Queer: . . . Michael. . . Did you not tell them why they're here?!**

**Player_One: I don't know how to explain this! It's not a total mess up! She's crying, why is she crying?!**

_**He's_Heere_and_Queer is calling all members of PitifulChildren!** _

"Michael!" Jeremy was glaring, who cares if their friends ("I love them but they're your friends Jeremy." "Michael you're dating two of them, and you're besties with Jenna!" "I still get scared one day they'll say it was a joke and laugh at me. . . I'm scared you will too.") were there?! "What the hel--heck?!"

"I'm sorry! It's not like I'm the strongest person!" Michael hissed out.

"What's going on?" Brooke was nervous.

"Yeah, I'm very concerned." Jake sounded serious, deadly serious. He was sitting behind Jeremy with Rich leaning over (actually on top of) Jeremy.

"Ama? There's a spider!"

Everyone in the group call froze as a little girl's voice flowed into the room. Michael cleared his throat, turning back and smiling at an unseen person. "Ama'll get that for you, don't worry!" Michael turned back to the call, smile faltering. "I have to go get a spider."

"Michael wait--" Jeremy was cut off.

"Jer, you explain, I have to get rid of a spider!" Michael hissed before his face disappeared from the screen and left only seven faces.

"Michael found. . . Some girl, a kid, she's like. . . five? I don't know, all I know is he found this kid on the street who was starving, almost dead, saying her parents were gone, they've been gone since she was smaller but usually she could get food. Michael said she said other people have been treating her like the runt, pushing her whenever she got her hands on food. She was Filipino and kept switching from English to Tagalog, so Michael sat down and spoke to her in a soft voice and now she's living with him. She calls him 'ama' and he already told his parents." Jeremy said with a sigh, his eyes were closed now. "I know what you're thinking, Michael and I said that he hated kids when he joked about getting knocked up to end his period. Guess what, he does. . . He fuckin--"

B walked over, arms crossed. "Cursing--"

"Shh, B, not now." Jeremy turned around for a second before looking back at his friends who weren't there at the moment. "He. . . hecking hates kids, but he also knows what it's like when your parents aren't around. . . Why do you think he let Jake and Rich stay with him? He wouldn't let me stay with him while dating, god no, too risky of getting distracted he said. . . When Mom left he let me stay over for two months, I went home after that but still. . . He's keeping her until he finds her a family, but she's attached to him now. She refuses to leave his side, hence why Jake and Rich are in my house. Rich, buddy, you're killing my back."

"Oh, thorry." Rich let Jeremy sit up.

"So he's the new 'ama'?" Christine asked.

"Yeah."

"Hey guys I'm back!" Michael's face showed up again, smiling. "What's up?"

"You're 'ama' now!" Christie gushed. "That's so cool!"

"What's her name?" Chloe asked, grinning.

"She won't tell me, she says she wants my name." Michael said with a shrug. "I'm going to call her Maria."

"I'm Maria! Maria!" the voice again, a little girl's voice, Maria's voice.

"She's Maria." Michael repeated.

"So when can we come home?" Jake asked.

"I don't know, Maria you want to meet Jacob and Richard now?" Michael asked the girl off screen.

"Nuh-uh."

"You have to soon."

"Three hours!"

Michael turned to his phone. "Maria and I have to shop for clothes and toys, so three hours she says."

"Three hourth, got it, thee you then!" Rich said with a smile.

Michael nodded, hanging up.

He was a father now.


	14. The Play(s) Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun Fact!  
> My favorite Marvel character is Hellcat, but Deadpool is a close second.
> 
> Sorry this came in so late! I had a Shakespeare essay, a code (I spent three weeks writing and rewriting only to discover the resistor was placed in the wrong spot, so my code was fine!), plus a boat load of quizzes.

Christine tapped her foot, Mr. Reyes doing the same. They tended to do the same things nowadays, it was a family thing. Marium and Taylor did it too, they all did it! It was closing night and Michael was late to set up his light station, what was taking so long?

"Sorry! Sorry! I'm here!" Michael ran through the door, red faced and panting. "Maria tried to argue about me walking her to daycare and then she yelled at me for twenty minutes in front of her friends and teachers about how I 'had to flip switches' and 'learn my alphabet to follow a script' like she did."

"Awww!" Christine put her hands together. "I forgive you for that!"

"Her teachers gave me dirty looks." Michael mumbled, going towards their lighting booth. Mr. Reyes cleared his throat, an eyebrow raised, making Michael stop and sigh. "I'm sorry Mr. Reyes, if your daughter's night is ruined it's my fault."

"Thank you, now go!" Mr. Reyes clapped his hands. "After tonight we strike the set and look over the script from Christine's play since we want this done before you all go to college--where the hell did Jeremy go?"

Jeremy, in fact, had climbed onto Michael's shoulders and was sitting as a child would upon their father, legs dangling over Michael's stomach (his legs were long, sue him) and arms out, displaying his phone to Michael. "It's called 'Ready Player One' and when it's out you're coming to see it with me! Doesn't it look so badass?! We need to see it together, I will cry if you don't go with me, I'm going to cry Michael!"

"I don't know Jer, what about your SQUIPs?" Michael was grinning, so the answer was obviously yes.

Michael just liked to watch Jeremy beg.

"Plllleeeeeeeaaaaaaaasssssseeee?" Jeremy pouted, making himself have big doe eyes. He was even tearing up, as promised. "It's going to be so awesome! Please Michael? Please, please, please, please, please?! I'll do whatever you want! I'll even eat yo--woah, I haven't said that since eighth grade." Jeremy covered his mouth.

"Now, see, if we were still dating and if I didn't have the surgery that would win me over. Just be glad I'm a good friend, I will forget what you said--" Michael would remember this for later that night, when he was alone, because goddamn Jeremy, goddamn. "--and we'll see it together."

"What wath Jeremy about to thay?" Rich asked, clenching his fists.

"You don't want to know." Jenna said with a snicker. "I guess Jeremy didn't do that unless Michael did something Jeremy really liked."

"Forget it!" Jeremy was bright red.

"Anyway!" Mr. Reyes grew uncomfortable. "Places for the top of the show, we can get in one more practice before it's all time for the performance!"

* * *

"So, as you all know I have secret abilities to know everything and wrote this! Everyone but B and C are in it, so A I'm gonna need ya! You're playing yourselves, is that cool? Cool!" Christine handed out the scripts of her musical, no need to change out of costumes because who cares? "Of course I'm going to hope my real hair comes back or the blonde washes off finally, because it's slowly doing so--can Michael and Jeremy stop flirting?"

"No." Michael and Jeremy said at the same time, holding each other protectively. 

"We're getting into character." Michael said.

"Because Michael had a huge crush on me still!" Jeremy claimed.

"What can I say? The Jew is sexy."

"So is the Filipino."

"Please don't make out." Jake held up a hand. "You can do that later."

". . . Really?" Jeremy asked.

"No--yes." A changed its answer quickly. "Maybe?"

"Ah, sweet--"

"I'm thtill printheth!" Rich held up a finger.

"Anyway, back to the script!" Brooke clapped her hands, because she was a supportive girlfriend. "I'm excited to perform this, it's going to be so much fun!"

"Do I have to kiss Jeremy?" Chloe asked.

"Yes." Christine made a fist, eyes sparkling. "Do it for the show!"

"Can I kiss him during Two Player Game?" Michael asked.

"YES!" "NO!" Christine and Jake screamed at the same time.

"Dang, I forgot what Jewish was."

"I'm Jewith. . .ith?" Rich spared a small smile.

"Can I make out with Richard during any song?" Michael asked.

". . . I don't know when but yes." Christine said with a smile.

"Cool--can I make out with everyone at least once?!" Michael asked.

"Everyone, except us and Ray, has a crush on you, so you might as well." B, C, and A all said at the same time. 

Everyone looked mortified, but I mean. . . Who doesn't have a crush on Michael Mell? 

"Cool, cool. I'll save my best one for A." Michael skimmed through the script.

"Anyway!" Christine's voice cracked. "Shall we start the read through? Jeremy, you start."

Jeremy cleared his throat, grinning. "C-c-c-c'mon. . ."


	15. Rich's Chapter (he finally gets his own!!!)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you think helped me? Honestly, y'all know by now.
> 
> Also may end this part soon, so if you have requests send them (ha. . . I've gotten 0) because I'm running out of ideas.

Rich, being the excitable man he was, had been waiting for his chapter for sometime now. He wanted it to be perfect, he wanted everything to be wonderful.

So why was Maria now princess?

* * *

"I want to be called 'Princess' Ama!" Maria squealed as she was getting her nails painted by Michael.

"Not 'Queen'?" Michael glanced at Rich, he was fuming. 

"Princess!" Maria said again. "Can I also have a cookie?" Michael sighed, standing and heading to the kitchen to get Maria her treat. Maria turned to Rich, grinning like a little devil. "Fight me, short ass."

"Watch your fucking language." Rich hissed.

"I'm his favorite now." Maria hissed back. They were glaring at each other until Michael walked out, Maria quickly pointed at Rich. "He said the f word! He said a bad word!"

"What?! You called me thort athth!" Rich threw his hands up.

Maria looked at Michael, tilting her head. "What's an 'athth' Ama?"

"Rich Goranski." Shit, Michael was mad if he called him 'Rich'. "Shoo, out of the room!" 

Rich opened his mouth but closed it quickly, walking out of the house fighting the urge to cry. A five year old was ruining his life, how was a five year old ruining his life? She was basically his daughter too! Why didn't she like him--no, fuck that! Why didn't he matter to Michael anymore?

"Hey Richie, you too?" Jake asked, doing something on his phone outside. "She called you ass too, right?"

"Thort athth." Rich mumbled, plopping down next to him.

"Hey, I'm 'Overall Ass' if it makes you feel better." Jake wrapped an arm around him. 

"The'th printheth now, I'm jutht Rich." Rich covered his eyes, groaning. "I'd eat twenty cricketth if that'd bring Michael back to me. I can't believe I'm being outdone by a. . . a five year old girl!"

"I don't know, I was outdone by a five foot two young adult and then a five year old." Jake held his phone out, pulling Rich closer. "Smile 'Princess'."

Rich smiled, holding up a hand for the picture before pouting again. "It'th not the thame when you thay it!"

"Also I won't touch your daddy kink."

"Ecthactly! Only Michael would! And now the'th printheth and I hate kidth!"

"You know who you should talk to?"

"Who?"

"Someone who'd correct you and say you're supposed to say 'whom' instead."

Rich made a face. "Oh no, not--"

* * *

"Jeremy!"

Jeremy looked up, if he were to be honest he wouldn't expect to be running to Rich on his way back from synagogue. Saturday services were special, he didn't miss them ever, and him running into Rich was new. Yeah he ran into Jenna once when he was unpopular, and she teased him before saying she did the same for her religious beliefs and hey, maybe they should talk about it if Jeremy got popular.

They hadn't yet.

But this is Rich's chapter.

"Oh, hey Rich, what's up?" Jeremy bounced from one foot to another. "What's up?"

"Well, you thee, Michael loveth hith daughter more than me and now I'm Rich and I--"

"You're only Rich?! That's bad!"

"I know it'th bad!"

"You're fucked!" Jeremy grabbed Rich's shoulders. "The last time he called you Rich was when he took a SQUIP!"

"Jeremy, it'th my chapter thith time and everything ith ruined!" Rich was tearing up.

"Chapter?" Jeremy tilted his head before shaking it. "Nevermind, I'll ask later, we have to do something!"

"I want my Michael back!"

"And it's time I hung out with my niece." 

Rich looked up at Jeremy, eyes wide. "Really?"

"Yeah, teach her some cool tricks about praying and stuff." Jeremy winked. "C'mon, take me to Michael's--I'm assuming you brought a car?"

"Believe it or not I did, let'th go."

* * *

"Maria's at Jeremy's, homework's done, I'm memorized for Be More Chill already--holy crap I. . . I have tonight off! I'm free!" Michael looked at his hands. "I can stay up and get stoned and not have to sing a lullaby!"

"Have time for me?" Rich asked, his voice wasn't confident.

"I always have time for you, Princess."

"I thought Maria wath Printheth."

"Are. . . Are you jealous of our daughter?"

"The callth me 'thort athth'! I thwear to god!"

"Anyway, I can't call her princess because I've kind of been sort of adapted to associate 'Princess' with you, so it's kind of annoying when I get really excited." Michael shrugged. "Like how am I supposed to call her 'Princess' when I know I call you that!"

"Oh, well--"

"Also don't say she calls you 'Short Ass' because she's precious and doesn't curse."

"Fight me."

"Hey--am I interrupting?" Jake froze.

"My chapter!" Rich hissed. "You'll get the one after thith!"

"Chapter?" Jake and Michael asked.

"You'll underthtand one day." Rich promised. "Your chapter'th after thith one, promithe. Or after the one after thith!"

"Okaaaaaaay." Jake held up his hands. "I'll go bother, uh, someone."

"See you later, Stud." Michael winked, kissing Rich's head. "Now, Princess, let's get started with your chapter."

"Actually I think we thould cut out here, we have thome alone time, and the readerth thee your kiddo."

"Well, then you make it happen."

* * *

"So Jake is. . ."

"Overall Ass, and Rich is Short Ass."

"And me?"

"Uncle Furry!"

Jeremy sighed, shaking his head. "So, uh, you're Princess now?"

"I'm gonna stop that, Ama gets too awkward when I say that." Maria said, rolling her eyes. "Ama is mine, not yours, not Rich's, not Jake's."

"I know Maria."

"You're my second favorite."

"I'm honored."

Maria giggled, grabbing Jeremy's hand. "Uncle Furry, can we play dress up? I wanna see you in a pink sparkle dress!"

Jeremy sighed with a smile. "Let's go shopping, okay?"

"Okay!" Maria smiled, pulling Jeremy out of the house.

It was Rich's chapter, and she knew this, yet she stole his ending.

It was Rich's chapter.

 


	16. Jake's Chapter (look at the notes)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate to do this but seriously friends.  
> Facts from your friendly, neighborhood, Jewish queer person  
> 1\. Jeremy could be half other religion, I know y'all don't wanna hear this but it's plausible. His mom could be Jewish and his father not, we never found out the parents religion but you usually follow your mother in Judaism.  
> 2\. For the lisp and stutter I'm using experience from what I remember in speech therapy (there was a girl with a lisp, two kids with stutters, I couldn't pronounce the 'th' noise or 'ing' noise (Me: it's free-o-clock, I have to leave this class so I can go to karate class. We're choppin' wooden blocks! It's going to be awesome!" My friend: free? in'? Maddie what the heck?) (I just revealed my deadname, oops!)

Jake didn't understand what Rich meant when he cornered Jake that morning.

"It'th your chapter, want me and Michael to be in it?"

"Ah, um. . ." Jake blinked. "Chapter?"

"Yeth--jethuth am I the only one who knowth?"

"Richard likes to pretend we're in a story." Michael waved Rich off. "He says mine's next, he's not looking forward to it."

"You've had ten million now, I've had one." Rich defended himself.

"I think I'd like to have both of you in it." Jake decided, smiling. 

"Then it'th OUR chaper! You have to have a plot!" Rich complained.

"I'm mildly concerned for our small bean." Jake said to Michael, putting his hand behind his neck, scratching slightly. "Actually, maybe he's right. Maybe we're all just characters in a play or something, I'm determined to find out now. That's how I'll spend today, seeing if Richie's right."

"That'th one hell of a plot." Rich mumbled.

Jake nodded, leaving the house slowly. It was a weird quest, but he was determined. It seemed like something Michael would do in a game of dungeons and dragons, and that made him even more determined to do so. If he found something out, well, then he found something out! Maybe Rich was right, maybe everything was a lie, maybe his life was a lie. He wouldn't know until he tested the theory, and Jake didn't know how to test it, but he would.

So he reached his arm out, hoping to feel a screen or invisible wall. A fourth wall would be nice, if Rich hadn't already destroyed it, but there was nothing there. Just clear, slightly damp air. . . but why did he acknowledge the dampness if no one could feel it? It sounded like a storm was coming, was that the case? Jake was getting messed up over a set of words, maybe this was ruining his life, who knew? He really needed a warm drink, a warm drink would be really nice. He walked to a cafe, grabbing a hot chocolate (he liked that more than coffee, sue him) and sitting down. If he focused hard he could practically see the description of the drink in front of him.

It was sort of like this: a milky cinnamon color, the smell of syrup and a small shot of espresso (he asked for one, just so he could stay awake during the storm he seemed to know he would soon witness) wafting towards him. It was maddening how much he saw in the world, how wonderful it was to understand how an author (he didn't know if it was a bad one or a good one) would write in a story.

It was a page of a chapter.

* * *

He got caught in a snowstorm. It was cold, and he was two miles away from home without a car. Jake had no idea what to do, so he went to the park to see if his new found observation skills would work. He wondered how Rich gained this ability, did he also try to focus? Did he also hear from someone else?

Plot twist, he just knew.

Jake sighed, leaning his head against a tree. It was almost as if he could place the next couple chapters in his mind and--oh, that's why Rich wasn't excited for the next chapter. Well, at least they'd see Sincerely Three one more time before--wait, did it end? What happened when the story ended, where did they go? Where would he go? Did Rich worry about this? Should he tell people?

No, he wouldn't, it would be too much for the others. Jeremy already had anxiety, Michael was worried too, Christine wouldn't be okay, Chloe and Brooke would probably worry, and Jenna. . . Jenna would tweet it.

All her followers didn't need this.

His thoughts were interrupted when a PT Cruiser pulled up in front of him, and Michael rolled down the window, smiling. "Hey Stud, it's cold out! Come on, Richard wants to cuddle and watch stupid movies."

"I know." Jake whispered, getting in the car.

He hoped it never ended.

* * *

"Tho you found out?"

"You worry too?"

"Everything endth."

"Not us!"

"Jake, your chapter, let yourthelf have a happy ending."

Jake sighed, nodding. "Okay, it's going to be a happy ending. Goodnight Richie."

"Night Jakey-D."

Jake fell asleep quickly, hugging Rich close to his chest. Michael walked in to see his boyfriends asleep, unaware of their discoveries and awareness he laid with them.

It was Jake's happy ending.


	17. I Know I Keep Doing Michael, I'm (not) Sorry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The commentary is mainly Michael.

You know, it's time we touch on that one line from chapter 13. The one in parentheses, you know the one. Very beginning of the chapter--you get it. Michael Mell, the king of anxiety seemingly (okay, everyone else had them but they shall be discussed later) had loads of trouble.

Today was a trouble day.

"So, Michael, where should we go?" Jeremy asked, the two of them were leading all their friends and dates around the mall. Michael had a weird expression, Jeremy was determined to get rid of it. "Want to go to 'Uncanny'?"

Michael shrugged in response.

"Michael. . ." Jeremy stopped walking, grabbing Michael's arm. "Want to go home?"

Michael opened his mouth, finding it dry. They were all staring at him, laughing silently at the fact he couldn't speak. He shook his head, he wouldn't give them the pleasure of him being so bad he couldn't be out. He hated that he was feeling this, he should be talking with them, laughing, making jokes with Jeremy. He was scared, though, scared of them playing a year and a half long joke at his expense. One day he'd wake up, call Jeremy, and Jeremy would laugh and say he was a loser and an idiot for thinking they could be friends. Jeremy was too cool for him, and he knew it.

"Michael, we can leave--"

"I'm fine." Michael's voice cracked, much to his embarrassment. Jeez, why did he get rid of his SQUIP again? He could've been fine if he had it, everything would've been fine, and they wouldn't need to know he had it. "I'm really okay."

Jeremy didn't move. He, instead, crossed his arms in response to Michael's lies. "Michael--"

Michael looked Jeremy in the eyes, silently begging Jeremy to drop it. Jeremy sighed, putting an arm around his best friend.

"Okay, fine." Jeremy patted Michael's back. "You're all good, let's go get chili fries--"

"That's when you left." Michael hissed. "I let you mourn in chili fries and you--"

"You left the mall--"

"No I didn't! Who told you that?!"

"A did--oh you son of a bitch!" Jeremy turned to A. "What the fuck?!"

"Just for the record I said I picked it up from mall security cameras." A held up its hands.

"I waited here for hours, I made security look for you after closing hours, I called your house! I called and you didn't answer, and I didn't know what to do! I thought you got hurt or that you died or maybe Jake shoved you in the trash and you were locked in the mall! I. . . I saw you at school and everything was great, but you ignored me, and you blocked me out!" Michael said quickly, shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets. He wished he just bit his tongue or something, now everyone was staring at him. There was hatred, fear, disgust, any negative emotion really, and it was all directed towards him. "Forget I said anything."

"Mi--"

"I was thinking we could go to the pet store." Christine said softly, aware of the tension. To Michael it just seemed like she was trying to forget what he said, to get away from him. Michael nodded to her suggestion, that seemed best for them.

It was hopefully almost over.

* * *

"I'm thinking of buying a turtle, should I?" Jenna asked Michael.

Jenna hated turtles (unless she was eating them (a fun experience with Michael)), this was code. Michael sighed, pulling Jenna to a corner of the store, where turtles sat unnoticed by society. They were noticed more often than Jenna and Michael would want for talking, but no one in the group wanted them. "I'm having a bad day, I know I'm standoffish and I shouldn't tell you because this makes no sense to tell you and not Jeremy."

"It's fine, I won't judge. I have bad days too, we all do, you just have trouble telling us." Jenna smiled. "It's hard after everything, huh?"

"Don't treat me like a child."

"Got it, I won't."

The difference between Jenna and literally everyone else was that she didn't fake her feelings about other people. Chloe had fakes voices, Brooke faked a lot, Christine was an actress, Jake could fake not being pressured so why not this, Rich was Rich, he could fake, and Jeremy was now the master of faking his views on people. That left Jenna, who faked only her happiness and nothing else, so her opinions of Michael were easy to read. 

"Don't. . . Don't tell anyone, I'm scared." Michael admitted, shrugging. "Please?"

"I won't, are you sure you don't want to just head home?" Jenna asked, peering at the turtle next to her.

"Jacob and Richard will get mad or something, I don't want to explain."

"Got it."

"Thanks Jenna."

"No problem Michael."

* * *

"Michael, are you really okay?" Chloe asked, her eyes narrowing. That did nothing to help Michael as he slouched whilst walking with the group. He hated the narrowing, it meant she was trying to read his mind. That was not what he needed, he needed cornbread or maybe coffee cake.

He was craving stuff like that.

"You don't seem okay." Brooke said, leaning over (jesus was he in the anime Jeremy made him watch in sixth grade?) to look at him. "Talk to us."

"I'm. . .fine." Michael said, slouching more.

"Babe." Jake said in a soft voice. "C'mon, what's wrong?"

"I'm fine!" Michael snapped.

"You're not fine." Jeremy started, trying to get to his friend.

"Calm down guys, leave Michael alone." Jenna spoke up, grinning at the hoodie wearing boy. "He's only human."

"Oh!" Jeremy froze. "Oh it's. . . Okay, hey, I have to head home soon."

Michael wanted to smile, hug Jeremy close, cry, but he also thought something else. Pity, Jeremy pitied him and everyone knew now. Jeremy was going to text everyone on the one chat without him. That would suck majorly, and he could only think of that outcome, so he shrugged. "I'm cool with anything."

He wasn't cool with everything, and everyone knew that now.

* * *

Michael laid down in his bed, covering his face, begging for his brain to just shut up for one goddamn second.

"Hey, Michael, what'th up?" Rich clambered onto the bed, Jake was making them tea. 

"Hey Princess." Michael lowered his hands, sitting up. He allowed Rich to climb into his lap, wrapping his arms around Rich's waist. "How are you doing?"

"Where'th Maria?"

"With my ama."

"You okay?"

"Just. . . Perfect." Michael promised, he was dissuaded by Rich's eyebrow raising. "You know?"

"I alwayth know, I know everything. What can I do to help?" Rich asked.

"Just. . . Don't tell anyone."

"Promithe, now tell me."

"It's too good to be true, I don't fit in. . . You're all so. . . I'm. . . One day you'll wake up and. . ."

"Don't worry about that, we will never do that to you."

"Part of me knows, part of me. . . not so much. . ."

Rich frowned, scratching Michael's scalp lightly. Michael let out a sigh, weak for this action. Rich smiled, kissing Michael's nose. "Your printheth getth worried about you."

"I'm sorry I worry you." Michael whispered. "Thank you for worrying."

"Hey, Michael? You may only be the hero of thith chapter--"

"Uh, thanks?"

"--but you're the hero of my life."

Michael smiled weakly, nodding to the words he didn't believe. "Whatever you say."

"Get thome thleep hot thtuff, Jake and I will wait."

Michael laid back down, covering his face one last time before closing his eyes.

Hopefully tomorrow wouldn't be a trouble day.


	18. The Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm debating ending it here (heere) or doing a college one.
> 
> Annnnnnnnnd I'm probs gonna end it here.
> 
> Thank you all for reading the SQUIP Squad series!!

Days turned into weeks, which turned into months, which lead to Be More Chill. It happened before finals, like two weeks before actually, and suddenly everyone was insanely popular. It was crazy, but they all loved the attention they got. It seemed they were all going to be alright, maybe just for a bit. Who cared that Christine wasn't going to college because Be More Chill got famous? Who cared that Rich and Jake were going to college across the country from Michael? Who cared that Michael wasn't rooming with Jeremy in college? Who cared that Madeline was going to France, away from Jenna and Dustin? Who cared that Brooke was going to college and Chloe wasn't?

Who cared that the Squad was being separated, once and for all. That was A's biggest dream before falling for Jeremy, now it got a bit teary. It was an emotional moment for them all, as they all hugged each other goodbye. Jake promised to travel to see Michael, Rich said he would too. Madeline promised to send gifts, facetime would be a friend in this case. Christine was going to see them all as much as she could, she was going to Broadway some day, she knew it.

Evan came by, with Jared and Connor, one last time to say goodbye. It was a cry fest, no one was safe from tears, even Heidi and Mr. Heere cried--hell, the Reyes all cried too, and they came by to pickup Christine!

It wasn't going to be the same ever again.

* * *

"Ama! Ama are you almost done?" Maria kicked her legs off Michael's bed. Ever since his roommate got caught with pot in the dorm she's been staying, roommate was kicked out, now he had his daughter there. "Aaaaammmaaaaa!"

"Yes, I'm almost done, hush." Michael smiled, finishing up the lab he was writing. "What do you say we swing by Uncle Jeremy's dorm today? Say hi to Uncles A, B, and C?"

"Sooooo Uncle Furry, Uncle Shocky, Uncle Mom, and Uncle Asshole?" Maria asked.

 "Where did you learn those words, young lady?" Michael asked, picking her up and placing her on his shoulders. "I didn't teach you them."

"Asshole I picked up from Aunty Brooke's Instagram, furry from you, mom from. . . basic words."

"Okay sass-master, want to grab a pizza before hitting Uncle Furry's place?"

"Nope! I want kamaro!"

"Maria I can't make those right now, I can when we visit my ama, until then we must deal with America's knockoff of other places' foods." Michael let out a small chuckle, bouncing slightly so Maria had to grab his hair. "Ow!"

"Your fault, Ama."

"I have raised a brat--"

"Take it back!"

Michael let out a laugh, moving Maria from his shoulders onto the floor. "Come on, time to visit Uncle Jeremy, he said he heard from Aunty Christine."

* * *

"Sometimes when I eat this it makes me think of Michael." Jenna said softly, she was in France with Dustin and Madeline. They finally got together, they were eating at Madeline's favorite restaurant. "I miss the group."

"I mean, we weren't as close but I miss them too." Dustin said, putting a hand on Jenna's cheek.

"You just miss Michael's eyes." Madeline claimed.

"I mean. . . I know you both think Michael is hot! Leave me alone!"

"Michael has always been hot." Jenna confirmed, taking a sip of his wine. "I love that I can drink here, oh my god, it reminds me of the parties we used to throw."

"Except you're not shit faced." Dustin kissed her cheek. 

"I'm never shit faced--okay, maybe I am sometimes, but leave me alone!" Jenna hissed.

"Mm, darling, you're so cute when you're angry." Madeline kissed her hand, leaving a mark with her lipstick.

The three laughed until Jenna's phone buzzed on the table. She looked at it, grinning, before looking up. "Christine needs me, I'm afraid I'll have to take an earlier flight than planned."

"You sure?" Madeline pouted.

"I'm sorry, I have to. It's for Christine."

* * *

Honestly? Planes sucked, they really did. Rich always got nervous, having to hold onto Jake's hand for comfort. Jake never liked planes, he had to go on them all the time as a kid for family vacation. Rich just liked being on the ground, away from the flying death trap.

"We're almost there, Richie, just one more hour." Jake promised, kissing Rich's hand. "We're going to see Michael soon, right?"

"You think he'll th-th-still call me pri. . . give me a minute. . . princess?" Rich asked, working through his lisp.

"He's going to be so shocked that you've been to speech therapy, he's going to be so proud of our princess." Jake promised, kissing Rich's head now.

"I'm th. . . still working on it, it's difficult." Rich shrugged, looking down and making small 'sss' sounds, trying to make the noise work.

Jake opened his phone, thank god he could use it at this time. He was waiting for them to tell him to turn it off, but for now he was taking a video of Rich making noises and, now, saying words that contained the letter 's'. Michael was going to love this, it was really cute. 

Who knew how but he got a message from someone who was supposedly famous now (she was, she really was.) asking for a favor.

**Canigulove: Up for meeting me (with Rich of course) back in New Jersey? Jeremy's dorm.**

**Jakey_D: Of course.**

"Richie, want to see Christine?"

* * *

Chloe was going to pass this test, she really was! Okay maybe it wasn't your typical test, but it was something she had to get past to become a model. She was going to be a model dammit, Brooke sent her so many letters full of hope. She heard they'd rather you not go to modeling school, she didn't go, but she needed this job. She wanted to have something to show Christine, that Christine wasn't the only one who could be famous. It wasn't that she was jealous, she just wanted to be. . . something Christine and Brooke would be proud of.

Chloe was waiting, she was waiting for a call or email. 

She received one, not from the model company.

"Hi Chris! Yeah, still in New Jersey, you know how it is--oh, the whole group? Like the school squad? Yeah, I'd love to! I'll be there in an hour or so, I live a bit far from where I used to! I'll see you in a bit! Love you!" Chloe made a kiss noise before hanging up, the minute she hung up her phone rang, a different person.

The agency.

* * *

Brooke was performing a surgery when she got the text, so she didn't get to see her phone. She was going to med school, this was her exam, this was her patient. The blood was gross, she didn't enjoy cutting someone open, and if she could have it her way she'd be in bed with a warm drink and her phone.

It wasn't her way, it was the way she could make money later on.

"Okay, soooooo I. . . shit, wait, cut here." Brooke mumbled to herself as the very people she observed watched her closely. This person's life was in her hands, the pressure was on her, it would be like this if she got the job anyway. She had no idea if she was going to pass, but if the person died she would know right away. If the person lived she would still be in suspense, she asked for it to be that way. To judge her on her skills and how she does under pressure, not if the person lived. They all asked for it to be that way, that's why they went to the school they did. 

"Okay, okay, okay and put this in." Brooke let out a sigh when she managed to place everything correctly, stitching the person back up and looking up. 

The surgery was done, they were talking. One peeked over and gave her a thumbs up, waving her off. She smiled, running out and getting changed. That was a good sign, right? Did she pass?

That didn't matter, her phone did.

**Valentine's_Day: Chris texted, meeting up at Jeremy's dorm with the whole group.**

Well that was something else.

* * *

Jeremy was nothing if not excited about the news he received. Rather than news it was a person, one of his exes, Christine Canigula at his dorm. She was the same person, making a small noise before tackling Jeremy into a hug. They were laughing when A, B, and C went to check the huge 'thud' they heard. B said something about making more cupcakes before retreating to the kitchen.

"Hey Christine!" Jeremy sat up, smiling. "How've you been? I tried to get tickets but they were sold out, what's up?"

"About that, what would you say to being. . . uhhh, well, seeing the whole musical on stage up close?" Christine asked, before quickly adding: "I'll wait for everyone to get here before talking, I just invited the SQUIP Squad to your dorm, I hope you know that."

"I figured you would." Jeremy let out a laugh. "Michael's on his way, I know Jake and Rich were supposed to visit him so I bet he's waiting for them or he'll text them, Chloe and Brooke are hopefully coming, and Jenna--"

"Brooke and Chloe are picking Jenna up. Jenna is here, I got her a direct, private flight." Christine said calmly.

"HOLY SHIT WHAT?!"

"I have a lot of money."

"Holy--"

"Shhh, don't be loud."

"You're one to talk, Christine."

Christine smiled, wrapping her arms around Jeremy. "I missed you!"

"I'm here--holy shit! Christine--and that's where you get the language." Michael turned to Maria. 

"Mmhm! Hi Aunty Christine!" Maria hugged Christine tightly, grinning. 

"Maria! You're so big! My gosh! Where's Rich and Jake?" Christine picked Maria up, smiling.

"Wait they're coming over?" Michael asked.

"Shit it was a surprise visit, wasn't it?" Jeremy pinched himself, allowing A to swat at his hand.

"Hi! Hello! We have arrived th-I have it. . . safely!" Rich popped into the dorm, smiling. "Hi everyone!"

"Hello." Jake, sadly, was carrying all of their things. 

"Ohmigod you two are here!" Michael grinned like there was no tomorrow. "Yes!"

"We're not commenting on how Short Ass is working on his lisp?" Maria deadpanned.

"I told you she fucking th---said it!" Rich pointed at Maria.

"I now know." Michael hugged his lovers closely.

"Reunions always make me want to cry, I guess it's just part of the fun." Brooke said as she walked in. "Hiii!"

"Brooke!" Christine squealed, hugging the girl tightly.

"Chris!"

"I'm here too." Chloe opened her arms to the two girls, smiling as they shuffled into the arms. "This hug is for everybody, it's been awhile."

The squad hugged closely, not wanting to let go, but eventually it got awkward, and Christine still had an announcement. As they pulled away Christine clapped her hands together, looking at them all. "What do you say you all perform Be More Chill with me, since it's about to be winter break and all."

"I can miss a Chanukah for this." Jeremy joked, before adding, "Plus, I kept my script."

"We all did, I'm still memorized." Michael commented, the group nodded along with him.

"I'm almost fully un-lith--lisped." Rich joked, catching himself on his words.

"Good!"

* * *

It was nerve-wracking, being up there, about to perform in front of thousands of people.

But, hey, in the end freaking out was everyone's okay.

The squad reunited for one last show, and they did one hell of a job getting ready.

It wasn't that difficult.

"Break a leg!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this a Sopranos ending? I don't know.  
> Thank you for reading this!


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